Thursday, January 31, 2013

To My Children

To My Lovely Little Ladies,

You girls are amazing. It is as simple as that, and yet so, so complicated. Being a mommy is hard. It is hard on so many levels, but I look at your beautiful little faces and I forget all the hard stuff. Like when I can't pick you up from school, Lily, because I have to work. Or Margie, when I can't bring you into bed anymore because at some point you need to sleep through the night. It is hard when I am trying to get two overly tired girls to bed by myself and hard when you both have very different but very important needs at the same time. It is hard to concentrate at work when I am not with you and equally as hard to admit that you are okay without me sometimes.

But the hard stuff, that's life. There is hard stuff everywhere. And the hard stuff makes everything else just that much sweeter. Watching you sleep, listening to you giggle. The stories you tell, Lily, and the depth of you imagination awe me on a daily, no hourly, basis. Margie, watching your little {BIG} personality really emerge makes my heart swell.

I know I am not the best mommy. I yell way too much and I am not a patient person. I have expectations. The way I think things should be. I am lazy sometimes and sometimes I say no out of laziness. I don't always have the imagination to participate in games and sometimes I just want quiet. But I promise to try harder. I promise to say yes more and to let you lead more. I promise to really, really, really try not to yell. I promise to listen to your stories. And I promise that no matter what, I couldn't love you both any more. You are my heart, my soul, my everything. You are the reason I was put on this earth.

I love you both more than you can fathom, but I pray one day, when you have children of your own, you will understand what I mean.


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