Wednesday, December 7, 2011
One of Those Days
I am hoping a nice cup of tea corrects my mood today. Today, well today is one of those days. I am tired. My head hurts. My nose is stuffy. I don't feel like wiping bums or changing diapers. I don't feel like fixing lunch. Why oh why won't the baby nap? She usually sleeps all day. Why is today the one day in the history of ever that the pre-schooler doesn't want to watch cartoons? All I want to do is lay on the couch and take a nap. Is that so much to ask? Sometimes, as a mom, it is.
Today I am throwing myself a pity party. The thing about pity parties is that they can get out of control and turn into real ragers pretty fast. They can turn into the type of parties that, if they were actual parties, the neighbors would call the cops. It started with a little stress. When I stress, I eat. I eat cookies. Like a whole bag. And then I feel like a pig (which, kinda I am - it is pigly behavior!) I think how I wish I was still pregnant. But only for one very vain reason. I liked my appearance when I was pregnant. My hair was awesome. My skin was the clearest and brightest it has ever been. My clothes were comfortable and fit appropriately. I was expected that I would have a large tummy. And full panel maternity pants give that big ol' belly a nice smooth appearance. Sure, I was as big as a house, but that was a given. I was growing a life. Now, well now I am just flabby and mushy and ick! My skin is broken out and I have begun the lovely postpartum shedding.
There are so many things I want to get done today. I want to clean the house and put away the laundry. I want to finish a project with Lily. I would like to start wrapping gifts for under the tree. I want to look forward to making dinner tonight instead of dreading the task. Today, however, I am choosing to give myself grace. I am accepting that I have a two month old baby, that I am fighting a little cold, that I am sleep deprived. I am accepting that pigging out on cookies won't make my clothes fit better, but beating myself up about it won't help either. Today I am going to sip my tea and try to take a nap before we have to rush off to ballet. I am going to remember tomorrow is another day and that it is okay to push off today's chores every once in a while. I am going to remind myself that everyone has, from time to time, one of those days.