All Together

You know those moms that look like they have it all together? I want to be one of them. I want to join the club. Can someone send me an invite? To be clear, I want to be one of those moms that appear to have it all together. I know that, by and large, moms having it all together is a myth. I have read plenty of blogs and talked with plenty of friends who appear to have it all together, only to know the truth. But really, while I would love to actually have it all together, I would be more than happy to pull off the illusion. And maybe even just once a week. This week I would look like I had it together at ballet, next week at swim lessons. At least a couple times a month if I could appear at preschool pickup and/or drop off not looking like I am going to pieces that would be awesome. I can only imagine what the director of Lily's school thinks of me. She probably shakes her head and thinks to herself "oh that poor woman, obviously can't handle two kids. She looked like she had it together before the baby was born." So yeah, if I could spread it around a little, the other people I come in contact with on a daily regular basis - the other moms - would at least think I wasn't a total lost cause.

For example, today I went to a play date at the park district. I had Margie in the Beco. I usually have her in the Beco at these play dates, but today it was because my sweatshirt was so stained with baby vomit the baby carrier actually helped cover it up. It was my second sweatshirt of the day. Also today I took a look at the finances. That alone is enough to give me hives. I decided that maybe I would just see what is out there in terms of part time jobs. I looked online and found that a local department store is hiring. It's close, it has flexible hours, and a little store discount so I could maybe buy some clothes so I didn't always look like a slob wouldn't hurt. I filled out the application part and then there was a little 50 question questionnaire. You know, the personality/what would you do in this situation/strongly agree-strongly disagree yada, yada, yada. I filled it out and was given a polite "Based on your answers, you are not suited for the position available." Awesome. I am not suited for a part time job at a retail store. Now I didn't really have my heart set on the job. I didn't even tell Matt I was applying and I don't know if I would have been able to work out a schedule that works with my family's schedule. But still. Still!

Honestly, a lot of the time I don't actually care what others think. It isn't that I have awesome self confidence, because I don't. It has a lot more to do with the fact that I can only worry about so many things at one time, and between worrying about paying the bills and feeding my kids and cleaning my house and grocery shopping and why oh why do the dogs stink so badly, that I just don't have any more room in my head to worry about other people's opinion of me. But all the same, I don't want anyone to think they need to call DCFS because clearly I'm losing it and two precious little girls are caught in the mayhem!

50 Pounds of Baby Love

I am a big fan of baby wearing, at least this time around. With Lily I had a borrowed Bjorn, which was horribly uncomfortable for both of us. I have since learned that those are considered "crotch danglers" and are not only bad for the wearers back, they are not good for a developing baby's spine and hips. I also had a peanut shell sling, which worked decently enough, but Lily was the independent,not so big on being close sort as a baby. Truth be told, she isn't really a big snuggler now. That is, unless I have Margie in the Beco Butterfly II. Then she crys that she wanted to be in the carrier. And while this carrier could easily accomodate her, Margie has clearly claimed it as hers, what with the spitting up on it and chewing on it. And the way her eyes light up and she gets the biggest smile ever when she sees me putting it on. So I decided to strap Lily in with my Maya Wrap. She was happy and secure and while I didn't get tons done, she was no longer exhibiting the jealousy towards Margie.

Margie loves loves loves to be worn. She will sleep, she will chew on the straps, she will coo. She is such a cuddly baby and sometimes it is the only way to attend to an almost 4 year old (sob!) as well as a must be held all the time baby. With Margie my go to carrier is my Beco. Best money spent. I haven't had her in the Maya for any length of time, but when she was littler (like newborn up to about 12 weeks) I loved my Moby. I still love my Moby and do occasionally use it as well. I think all three of my carriers will be interchangable in the months and years to come! And oh yeah, the only way I was even able to type this is with Miss Margie snuggled and asleep in the Beco.

Sometimes Lily likes to wear her baby (in a Moby type wrap I fashioned out of a scarf):

And sometimes she likes to be worn:

General Musings

Well well, whaddya know! One day is not adequate time for a laptop to dry out when a three year old spills a pint glass of water on it, but two days is! Thank goodness! Of course, Matt had already gone and purchased a big mamma jamma hard drive and a doo-hickie to transfer everything from the lap top's, and then deleted everything from the lap top's hard drive, but a couple hours time and the nominal amount we had been planning to spend on a big external hard drive but just hadn't yet sure beats having to live without the computer while it got fixed or having to buy a new computer. (How's that for a run on sentence?) So I am very, very, very happy that the computer recovered. However, remember when I mentioned the other day that I thought I messed up the alignment on the van. Yeah, I did. And we needed two new tires. Run flat tires, because the van doesn't have a spare, or space for one. So while we didn't have to buy a new computer, we did have to spend more money than I cared to (right, like I wanted to spend any money!)on van repairs. Matt did some calling and shockingly the dealership was actually the best price. So we now have a working computer and a better working van. Thank goodness we didn't have to spend big bucks on both.

This afternoon I changed Margie's diaper and went to wash my hands and use the bathroom. Since I never, ever get to use the bathroom alone, it was just par for the course that I had Margie on the bath mat and Lily barging in. Lily asked why Margie was on the floor and I told her that it isn't safe for babies to be on high surfaces where they can roll off and get hurt. I told her about how she rolled off our bed when she was a baby and luckily she didn't get really hurt but mommy shouldn't have left her there even for a second. (For the record, she was on the bed and I literally turned around to get something out of my dresser and she rolled off. Still, bad move mommy!) Anyway, a couple minutes later Lily came up to me and said "I forgive you." I said "Thanks Lily, but why do you forgive me?" She said "For putting me in a not safe place and letting me roll of the bed and get a little hurt." Cue mommy guilt.

I am so over winter! We have really only begun to get winter weather...just a week ago it was 50 degrees. But all the same I am done with winter. The mild temperatures have me tricked into thinking that spring is around the corner and then the next thing I know it is snowing. I didn't used to mind winter but ever since having kids it is just a pain in the butt. I want to go outside and not need a coat or have to worry about bundling the kids up. My ideal temperature range is between about 40 and 80. Rain, sun, wind...all fine. In six months I will be complaining that I am so over summer. I really just need to live somewhere where the climate is mild.

I am super addicted to Pintrest. I love looking at it. There are so many amazing things out there. But it leaves me feeling conflicted and confused. On one hand I am pinning all these recipes that look so yummy and I can't wait to try and then on the other hand I am pinning all these cute outfits and workout routines and inspiring quotes for working out. They just sort of seem to contradict each other. I am sure that if I were to try out all the recipes I have pinned I would end up looking even more like Jabba the Hut and would have dashed any hope whatsoever of looking cute in the outfits I have pinned.

Okay, that's my rambling for today...

Computer Down

Lily spilled a glass of water on the laptop yesterday. We were hoping it would dry out and be okay - silly us - but it wouldn't come back on this morning. Therefore I likely won't be posting until it is repaired or we get a new one. Thankfully Matt was able to retrieve everything off the hard drive!!! Anyway, I am posting this from my phone which is a bit tedious. Hopefully we will have a working computer shortly!!

Snow!

It's finally starting to feel like winter! And for once the weather forecasters were right on the money. It started snowing right about 8:30 and has been coming down since. I am thankful it started right as we got out the door...it saved having to dig out this morning. I dropped Lily off at school and headed to my doctor's appointment. I was expecting Margie to sleep the enitre time but she was wide awake. Luckily she was happy and smiled at all the ladies gushing over her. As I was driving home she started crying and I couldn't find her paci and I didn't really want to dig around for it while driving since the roads weren't the best. I decided to pull over and totally started to slide as I was pulling into the parking lot. I missed hitting a sign by just a few feet and smacked into a curb. I am pretty sure I jacked up the alignment on the van. Awesome! It was pretty hairy on the way to pick up Lily as I slid through pretty much every intersection. Thank goodness they were all four way stops, though everyone seemed to be sliding. We got home from school, ate lunch, and my SIL came over and brought my Starbucks. We hung out all afternoon and watched the snow and chatted. Lily tried her hardest to steal all the attention. My friend called and asked if she and her son, one of Lily's best buddies, could stop by before she picked up her older son. I am always happy to have my friend over and an added bonus was someone to distract Lily :).
Unfortunately I also got a phone call telling me the soccer class I had signed Lily up for was cancelled due to low enrollment. I had anticipated this because when I checked online a couple weeks ago it showed only two people signed up (Lily and one of her friends). I had been monitoring it, but no one else signed up. I am kind of bummed and so is Lily. She really wants to play soccer, and since my sisters and I all played soccer for most of our youth, I was eager for her to play. Plus, I am always looking for an activity to burn off some of her seemingly boundless energy. I guess we will just have to try again in the spring. Now we will just have to see if the swimming lessons I signed her up for are still on. According to the website, there is only one person (Lily, I assume) signed up.
My evening wrapped up with dinner (I made the chicken lemon soup again that I made on Monday, along with some garlic bread). Lily crashed on the couch and Margie is snoozing in her bouncy seat and I folded some laundry and now I am just kicking back on the couch watching TV. Thursday night is the best night for TV: Bones, The Office (though I am kinda over it now that Michael Scott is gone!), Vampire Diaries. I know it is bad, but I am so happy to have all the shows back on after the winter break. I love ending my evening vegging in front of the TV! Now if I only had some chocolate....

Climate Change

Today it was 55 degrees. In Chicago. In January. It is the third 50+ degree day we've had. Tomorrow we are supposed to get 6 to 8 inches of snow. Lily is so excited. She got dark rosa snow pants for Christmas and has been anxious to wear them. By the way, she says all her colors in Spanish. I'm not sure where she picked it up initially - Dora probably - but I have since added Google Translator to my phone because she is constantly asking me how to say something in Spanish. I kinda wish I remembered more of my high school Spanish. I was pretty proficient my senior year. Sigh...
Today was the first day since before Christmas that actually felt kind of normal. Margie was kind enough to nap while Lily was at school so I took a blissfully hot and long shower. After school we ate lunch and then Lily was being a little mouthy so I sent her to play in her room and Margie and I took a little nap.

We then headed to ballet. Ballet is at 4:15 but for some reason every.single.week I think it is at 4:00 and therefore we get there way before class starts. Today Lily ran around the lounge area outside the dance studio singing at the top of her lungs about how she will protect Margie...from the windows, and the ceiling, and the plant, and the exit sign...It was hilarious. I don't know where that girl gets her energy! When Matt go home we went out for pizza. There is this great little place that sells pizza by the slice and has a nice selection of microbrews. I have been craving pizza for a while, and I am not actually usually a huge fan of pizza, but this place is just that good!



After that we ran by Target. I wanted to get the little book tabs for my Bible and also a devotional to do with Lily, both of which I had been told you can get at Target and neither of which I could find. If the roads aren't too bad tomorrow I think I will be heading to the Christian Book Store. I have been wanting to do a devotional with Lily for a while and just today she was saying I never do anything with her. I don't think that is true, I think she is still adjusting to sharing me, but I think this could be our special time each day. After Target Matt dropped us girls at home and ran by the library to pick up a book for me and a couple movies while I got Lily ready for bed. When Matt got home he got the last few things arranged in the garage so we could pull the van in before the snow. I am all for a little snow. I have really liked the warm weather, but it just doesn't feel like winter. That being said, I have a small window tomorrow where I need to get Lily to school, then to a doctor's appointment a half hour away, and then back to pick Lily up and extra traffic because of crappy road conditions won't help. So if the snow could just hold off until about noon tomorrow I will then gladly welcome it!

Fussy Pants

Margie has many nicknames: Apple Dumpling, Baby Cakes, Cheeks McGee, but her newest moniker is Fussy Pants. She has been the so fussy the past 24 hours. Last night she came straight into bed with me and nursed all night. Today she didn't nap while Lily was at school, denying me a shower. I couldn't put her down so I couldn't even make myself breakfast. I put her in the Beco and was able to vacuum and do laundry, which both needed to be done, but those little luxuries like food and hygeine were not to be had. After we picked Lily up from school my sister came over. She is moving to North Carolina in a couple days and it was nice to visit with her before she leaves. I am going to miss her! In the past couple years my sisters have really become my best friends. Luckily Jackie was obliging and held Fussy Pants a bit so I was able to make us lunch and change around loads of laundry. Lily, Jackie and I spent a relaxing afternoon sitting on the couch just visiting. Margie would occasionally nap briefly and was right back to wanting to be held. Jackie left and we had dinner and I went my deep water conditioning class. I decided last week to do something for myself and signed up for a class at the park district. Today was my second class and I love it. The nice thing about working out in water is no one can see what a boob you look like if you are super uncoordinated, like yours truly. When I got home last week I went straight to Facebook raving about the class and one of my friends actually signed up. I need to get a new bathing suit though. I am currently rocking my maternity tankini. The bottoms are too big and the top floats up so I wear a belly band underneath it which I pin to the bottoms and then I knot the top like people did with t-shirts in the 80s. I really need to get a new suit, but the idea of bathing suit shopping is scary enough, let alone with a fussy infant and rambunctious preschooler. I got home from class to find Matt holding a recently settled Fussy Pants. Apparently Margie screamed the entire time I was gone. Poor baby just wants her mommy.

And thanks to Fussy Pants, it took me about an hour to type this silly little post. I hope the fussiness passes soon! Lily was such a chill baby I feel like a first time mom again...

Back to Normal

Today, after two weeks off school and activities, which is really more like three weeks since Lily missed most of the week before Christmas due to the plague, we are back to our regular schedule. As nice as our break was, I kinda like knowing what day of the week it is again! We are so off schedule, still, that I actually had to wake Lily up this morning. Luckily she was easily roused with the promise of mini pancakes for breakfast. She actually let me pick out her outfit this morning as well. I got the three of us ready and dropped Lily off at school and then Margie and I headed to Hannah Circle. I really like Hannah Circle and love the ladies in it. We are doing a book/Bible study on Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. I had to remember to set my alarm on my phone so I could get Lily in time. Margie was awake the entire time we were there, which isn't really a big deal, but admittedly, I like it when she sleeps and I can really concentrate and enjoy some mommy time. I picked Lily up from school and we came home and ate lunch. I put on some cartoons and fed Margie and tried to get her to nap. The past couple of days she has been doing more cat napping than actual napping. I was in a super crabby mood for some reason. It might have something to do with me totally craving something sweet! I decided I was really going to cut back on sweets and sugar, which if you know me is kinda drastic because I have a major sweet tooth. I want to make some healthy changes to my diet and there is so much conflicting information out there - fats are bad, fat is necessary; carbs are good, carbs are bad; meat is good, meat is bad; you get the idea. The main thing that everyone seems to agree on is that sugar is bad. I have done pretty good, but I was totally craving something sweet. I decided I would have a couple of coffee - I got a Keurig for Christmas and it is my favorite thing ever! I made a cup of decaf and added some half and half and cocoa powder. It was like a mocha, but not sweet.
It didn't totally do the trick, but it was really good and took the edge off!

We had a play date this afternoon at the park district. The childcare area is closed for a couple hours in the afternoon but you can pay and bring your kids to climb around and play and you watch them. A group of us from MOPS have gone a couple times and it is nice for the mommies to visit and the kids to burn off some energy. Lily has this little friend that she is always talking about but when they get together to play they don't always get along. Lily will decide she doesn't want to play with her and there are tears and it is just so funny because she always asks when she can have a playdate with this girl but then doesn't want to play with her when they have the chance. Hanging out with some of my mommy friends totally helped my mood! I love hanging out with people in the same stage of life as myself. We came home from the play date and I made dinner. It was a little tricky because all day Margie has wanted to be held and pretty much screamed if I put her down. I had to let her scream so I could just get dinner started and then as soon as I picked her up she was happy as could be. I can't wait for her to get a little bit bigger and then I can hopefully put her in the carrier on my back when cooking. She loves the Beco, but I can't do much in the kitchen when she is on my front. I made this soup recipe that I found in Cooking Light and it was really good. After I cleaned up for dinner, Margie and I headed out to meet a friend for coffee. It was so nice to have a chance to catch up with my friend and time always flies so quickly. We were sitting there talking and the barista rudely announced to the six or so people in Starbucks "Thanks for stopping by, we're closed, go home." Thankfully this wasn't at my normal Starbucks! And for the record, I just got a latte (decaf of course, since I am nursing!)and wasn't even tempted to get a sweet drink.

And before I forget, I have to add a little Lily funny. It didn't happen today, but I want to write it down before I forget. I was singing (badly)"Joy to the World" before Christmas. I sang the line "Let earth receive her King" and Lily thought I said something about saving the king, so now she always asks me to sing the save the king song. She is just too funny!

Margie is 3 Months Old!!

Last week Margie turned 3 months old. I say it every month, but I just don't know where the time has gone! Due to illness, we were at the doctor so I know for a fact that she weighed 14 pounds 5 ounces the day before her 3 month birthday. Margie is a great sleeper still, getting up to nurse at night but going right back to sleep. She still doesn't have real nap schedule, but basically sleeps when she wants, anywhere, any time. She prefers her bouncy seat or the Beco, and sometimes her swing. If I put her down in her crib or our bed she sleeps well but wakes up screaming, like why the heck am I alone?

Margie is a pretty good eater, and much like her sister, she is a puker. After every feeding she spits up all over herself and me. We go through a lot of burb clothes. It doesn't bother her though, so I guess I have another happy spitter.
Margie wears pretty much all 6 month clothes and wears cloth diapers full time, as she has for the past two months. I am so happy to cloth diaper my babies. Weird, maybe, but I enjoy it.
Margie is generally a very happy baby. She is super smiley all the time and loves to laugh and babble. She loves to chew on her hands and has found her thumb. I think she may ditch the paci soon in favor of her thumb, just as soon as she can find it more regularly! She is very cuddly and loves to hang out in her Beco. She is very squirmy when you hold her - we call her squirmy wormy - but in her carrier she is just so chilled out. We took a walk the other day and she rode and napped the whole way, just happy as could be! She loves to watch Lily playing and I know she just can't wait to get up and follow her around.




Just before Christmas Lily brought home a little cold from school. We all ended up sick, three of us over Christmas, and Margie was the worst. She had RSV and bronchiolitis, which caused her to wheeze a lot. We treated her with a nebulizer, but it didn't do much, so we were back to the doctor's a week later and left with a prescription for Prednisone. I have love-hate feelings about Prednisone! First of all, it was very hard to give it to her. She cried and spit a lot of it out. At least it seemed she did. She is also a drooling monster lately! It give her flushed cheeks. It made her irritable. I am pretty sure it upset her tummy. The poor baby didn't know she was sick until we gave the medicine to make her better. However, it did clear up the wheezing, so I guess it was good afterall.


Margie is just the sweetest baby and we are so blessed to have her as part of our family! My two girls are the greatest!